DOCTOR
It’s a real thing
A thing for reals
Just look it up on your phone
But not right now that would be rude...
There is a rare disorder
Just a few known cases found around the globe
But this rare disorder
Is caused by lesions
In the frontal lobe
BEN
“You say I only hear what I want to--”
DOCTOR
Witzelsucht!
Yes, it is called Witzelsucht
A silly German word
That probably sounds absurd
But it’s Witzelsucht
I tell you, you have Witzelsucht
Brain damage has been done
And this is why you pun
AMY
This just sounds straight up made up
Did you just make up a word or did somebody sneeze?
DOCTOR
No, it’s not made up
It’s real
A very dangerous disease
Witzelsucht!
I tell you, you have Witzelsucht
It’s damage in your brain
And so you pun again and again
And again and again
And again and again
I’m sorry, I got stuck-t
Talking about Witzelsucht
An MRI you’re needing
To see if your brain is bleeding
AMY
If this is true
Perhaps I’ve been too mean
It could explain why at the funeral
He caused a scene
DOCTOR
You must help your father
You’re his daughter
BEN
Please, does someone have some water?
"Wat-er" I gotta do to get some water-- Ow!
AMY
Stop. Stop, Pop.
AMY/DOCTOR
Stop. Stop.
DOCTOR
Every joke you say
Is like a tiny stroke, okay?
Making all of your brain blood spout
Each pun gets you one step closer to death!
BEN
Three "strokes" and you’re out-- Ow!
DOCTOR
Witzelsucht!
I tell you, you have Witzelsucht
It’s a real thing
A thing for reals
AMY
This actually makes sense
Surprising how this feels
